Peace

Peace. What does that mean?

This is my question in this hard time of wondering …

I could lose it, that’s for sure.

But is there really any benefit in that?

Of course not.

I have heard that it is in the hard times

that true character is revealed.

I am hoping that my true character

is stronger than I feel.

I’ve always wanted to be independent.

I’ve never wanted to rely on a man as a way to live.

A beautiful, baby girl changed all that!

I am no longer able to be an island.

I have to depend on other’s to survive

both emotionally and financially.

That was fine, I was actually coming to terms with that …

Until my husband lost his job.

Now I am faced with the fact that as unjust as it is,

my husband’s earning potential is larger than mine.

It’s hard for me to come to terms with that.

I want to jump in and save the day, but I can’t.

I can’t for two reasons,

One: my income is not enough,

Two: I can’t imagine being away from my baby for 40+ hrs.

All that being said …

Somewhere in all this I have to find a place of Peace

I have to know that it will all work out.

Life has ups and downs,

but somehow we are always ok.

And even though I don’t see it right now,

there is an answer and there is a reason in all of this.

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