A Look Back

Yes, finally, a blog post!
My heart is full tonight as I contemplate all the ways I have been blessed in spite of this very difficult season we have been through. The fact that we are still in our home is in itself a miracle and one I do not take lightly or for granted. In the almost two years since Madison’s arrival in our world, I can truly say we’ve been through it all and not just in regards to parenting but in life as whole.

Motherhood, for me, began with a rocky start, post partum depression, family far away, the desperate search for a community to surround my new mother self with, and in all this to find the balance of self/wife/mother/friend/etc. Somehow I have come out on the other side with the deepest of compassion and a depth of understanding that only experience can bring you. I am also grateful beyond words for the amazing, amazing, amazing group of friends that have come along side me, often in the most unexpected ways, to share this journey with. With family so far away, they have been a true life source, offering me so much joy, support, laughter, good times, advice, and friendship. I am also proud to say, that although it does not always go perfectly, I have learned to juggle motherhood, work, housework, fun times, family times and me times. My New Years resolution last year was to learn how to take time to care for myself and in doing so, I kicked postpartum depression in the butt! This is all thanks to the fact that I, FINALLY, have a regular work out schedule and routine, my new “happy pill.” I never thought I was the athletic type but I have proved myself wrong and this year had the immense pleasure of completing both the Warrior Dash and my first 5k! You truly do not know what you have in you until you are pushed to the very end of yourself and choose to keep moving.

As most of you know, a month after we closed on our home and with both a new baby and a new dog to care for, Jeremy was laid off. So began almost a year of job searching and soul searching. We came so close to losing everything that we have come to hold dear, our home and our friends. And the prospect of moving to VA seemed our only option for a while. I stayed hopeful and upbeat for the longest time and then when it seemed like nothing was working no matter how positive I stayed or how hard we tried, I cried and I yelled and I got mad and I lost it. Sometimes you’ve just gotta have a good cry! Thankfully, Jeremy finally found a job! It’s not his dream job and his schedule is less than ideal, but we are grateful. Most of all though, we have our family to be so very grateful to for coming to our aide when we were at our lowest point and helping to carry us through. Truly, that is what family is all about. No matter our differences and no matter the distance, when we need them, they are there.

There is still so much I could write about, the path was long and winding and overwhelmingly full of ups and downs. But I’ll leave you with this, “If you’re going through hell, keep on going, don’t slow down. If you’re scared, don’t show it, You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there.” 🙂 There’s always Hope and I can promise you that you’ll get through even the darkest of days, just keep going!

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