This was not the plan … this was not the plan … this was not the plan … repeats over and over in my head as I lay in bed analyzing my life and the twists and turns that it has taken especially in the past two years. I agonize over ways to find a shortcut back to the plan; try to figure out where I went wrong and “what did I do to deserve this?” But guess what?? I am wasting my time … I could be spending this valuable time working with what I’ve got and moving forward because whether I like it or not, time is moving forward.
Confession, I sometime avoid situations and/or people who managed to attain part of my plan because I find it too difficult to deal with their “success” and my “failure.” Second confession, when I stop avoiding these situations and/or people I often come to realize that they have their own “failures” to deal with and their lives have veered off course just like mine has.
So moving forward, whether I like it or not, I am determined to get my head out of the past and into the present, into the future. I limit myself, I hold myself back, when I become bogged down in frustration, resentment, and discouragement. Life is not perfect, no plan ever works out perfectly, and honestly their so much more beauty in imperfection. So I resolve to move on, to break new ground, to do what I want to do and let nothing and no one hold me back.
“She who reconciles the ill-matched threads of her life, and weaves them gratefully into a single cloth — It’s she who drives the loudmouths from the hall and clears it for a different celebration.”