In the past few days, I have had quite a bit going on in my life. My mind goes into a little bit of an overload when I have to deal with challenging situations and tough decisions. Very recently I wrote about how I needed to stop saying, “I can’t,” that has certainly proved easier said than done. I was on the phone a couple days ago with a friend and I was freaking out a bit … I am pretty sure there was a lot of “I don’t know” and “I can’t …” In a moment of emotional overload, it is difficult to see things clearly and for a control freak like me that is a hard place to be!
In my life, I have always been given the challenging road. You would think that by now I would have figured out how to walk along with grace and ease but my emotions still get the best of me. In my head, I know that the things that I hold most dear have been gained through difficulty and pain; but, my heart doesn’t like dealing with the pain. What I always find so amazing however, is that once I face things head on and deal with them, I realize my fear of “what if” was far greater than the actual reality. As I embrace the sadness, the pain, and face the difficult situation, I gain strength, purpose, and new hope.
Last night as I was running, there were moments of exhilaration and there were moments of pain. Lately, whenever I am running or working out and get the urge to give into my weakness and quit, I hear Jillian Michael’s in the back of my head … “You’re legs are not giving out. You’re head is giving out. Keep going!” This is when I do a mental check and realize that, yes, I am tired but I can keep going if I choose to.
Life never goes as planned; but, I truly believe that it happens as it should. I have a choice to fight the process or to embrace it. I have accomplished many things that I thought I never could, so I think its time to get out of my head, embrace change, and choose to live alive.